Gving up for the New Year

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO ALWAYS BE RIGHT

There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. GIVE UP YOUR NEED FOR CONTROL

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. GIVE UP ON BLAME

Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. GIVE UP YOUR SELF-DEFEATING SELF-TALK

Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. GIVE UP YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS...

...about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. GIVE UP COMPLAINING

Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. GIVE UP THE LUXURY OF CRITICISM

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO IMPRESS OTHERS

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. GIVE UP YOUR RESISTANCE TO CHANGE

Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. GIVE UP LABELS

Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. GIVE UP ON YOUR FEARS

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. GIVE UP YOUR EXCUSES

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. GIVE UP THE PAST

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. GIVE UP ATTACHMENT

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. GIVE UP LIVING YOUR LIFE TO OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPECTATIONS

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

Looking for something.

This morning I have been looking for something motivational to post.  Profound would be better.  What keeps coming to mind is the word belief.

Belief works in many directions.  I (you) must foster the belief, the innate knowing, that what you are involved with is worth every thought, struggle, disappointment, late night, and early morning grind. 

Belief works down.  Foster belief in the people you help, it is you that can motivate, uplift, be a soft landing spot for anyone you help. 

Belief works up (and way, way up).  Believe in the people that are helping you.  Their intentions, actions, and compassion are genuine.  You are the focus.  Believe in something more than yourself.  I have no qualms about sharing my Christianity and what it means to me yet, more so, how my life has changed.  For those that know me on a personal level, I am not the man I used to be. 

You are right where you are meant to be, doing what you are meant to do, believe that!

I believe in you.

Houdini did it. Why not you?

Houdini could undo the chains and handcuffs binding him while upside down and underwater.  I'm pretty sure that if you are reading this you are not upside down and underwater.  

Why not you?  Keep fighting, praying and singing until you are free.  You've got this!  Let loose the shackles and soar!  Breaking through to the person you know you are meant to be is a powerful feeling.   

I encourage you to do something positive with the real you. You are here to make a difference.  Lend a hand, give a smile, share a meal, or give to the needy.  

Most important of all, stay true to the real you!  You are a marvelous creature!

Psalm 116:16  O Lord, I am your servant; I am your servant, the son of your maidservant.  You have loosed my bonds.

 

Going nowhere fast

Today as I was reading through my daily devotionals it struck me how much time I used to spend thinking about the past.  

I think it's like trying to swim upstream. You can swim and swim and swim and generally stay about where you are in the current.

As a kid I used to go down to the river in the summertime and fish, swim and explore with my friends.  Numerous times we would float down stream and have to swim back upstream to get to our skiff.  Usually I would just get tired and turn around and swim with the current.  Swimming with the current let me get to the bank of the river easier so I could sit and rest.  

What I've come to realize over the years is that dwelling on the past has prevented me from going with the flow of life.  With my focus on something other than the present, I wonder what opportunities I may have missed.  Again, that's thinking in the past.  No matter how much we try or wish, it won't change.  The past is the past.  Learn from it and let it go. 

If we can learn to turn around and take life as it comes, it leads to new experiences and the opportunity to capture the dreams of the life we want to live. 

So, grab your inner tube, your sunscreen and sunglasses and enjoy the trip.

Two and a half things

When everything is boiled down to it's simplest denominator there are only two things that we can actually control.

The first being our actions.  It is only your responsibility on how you react to any situation.  Sounds easy, but we all struggle from time to time with the actions of others and react in ways that may not truly reflect who we really are.  On the reverse, everyone you encounter has the same responsibility for their actions.

The second is our attitude.  It's true that kindness will eventually turn the heart of those that treat us poorly for no apparent reason.  You can choose each day, or even right now, to choose your attitude.  Are you going to be like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh and mope around all day, or are you going to choose to be a joyful person?

For myself, I sometimes add another personal responsibility for myself and that is managing expectations (the half a thing).  We all want the best possible outcome from every interpersonal relationship, business deal, or plans for our lives.  It is my belief that when we have imagined a certain outcome or reaction to any of the above and it doesn't meet our imagined expectations we are disappointed.  There is nothing wrong with the disappointment because it is a feeling and feelings are true.  I think in those situations where we are disappointed, it is the stark contrast between the desired outcome and the truth of the situation.

This may require change on your part (I am part of that statement).  Choose your attitude, choose actions that reflect who you really are, and realize that people are people and do what they do.

Ephesians 4: 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

A view from the top

In my younger days I did some climbing.  Nothing on the scale of Mount Everest or Mount Whitney, but high enough to get a great view of the earth below.  It's a beautiful sight to see.  The grand scale of the world on which we live is a bit lost when we are below the mountains looking up.

What I've realized is that although the view from the top is breathtaking, it's the humanity below in which I live and love. It's in the trenches of everyday life where we live, struggle, laugh, cry and seek life.  It's in the trenches where those that are less fortunate, those that feel broken, and those that need a hand up are.  We can't reach them from atop the mountain, nor can we reach them if we emotionally live above the fray.  

I believe that we are to be in the trenches helping those that have lost love and especially for those that have lost hope.  If you are as fortunate as me and have a life in which you have a steady income, a warm place to live, and plenty of food eat, then it is up to us to get our hands and feet dirty in the trenches while offering a ray of hope.

I would like to share the following quote with you:

“Love is not patronizing and charity isn't about pity, it is about love. Charity and love are the same -- with charity you give love, so don't just give money but reach out your hand instead.” ~ Mother Teresa

Romper Room

When I was a kid I used to watch a kid's television show called Romper Room.  Each show started with the Pledge of Allegiance and then the remainder of the time was spent with games, songs and moral lessons.

At the end of each show the hostess would hold up the magic mirror, which was actually a hoop with a handle on it and say the names of the children she "saw" in televisionland.  During the show I was completely engrossed in the activity or song but at the end of the show I wanted, with my whole heart, for the hostess to "see" me and call me out by name.  

I think many of us have this need to be seen.  Not just as a body in front of someone but someone to see the beauty we hold in our hearts.

Thankfully I have been gifted with the ability to perceive the beauty in the hearts of others but have also developed the ability to hide my own heart.  I'm done holding back what's in my heart and I do it with abandon.

Let your heart "gush" out today because someone needs to see what your heart holds.

The road from fear to free

I want to be the person in the room that lights it up.  Not from trying to be the center of attention or by trying to engage each person in a personal conversation but from having the ability to be me.  

We don't always know who we really are.  Maybe there is a dream buried so deep in our heart that there seems no way to live that dream.  However, we certainly know how we got to be the person we look at in the mirror each day

What got you to where you are?  Take your time and figure it out.  It's vital for the next question.

What's stopping you from forgetting/forgiving whatever tragedy may have happened to you on your journey to your present life? 

Here's a roadblock statement that may help:

Sometimes the fear of (______) prevents me from living the free life that God wants me to have.

When we face our fears we tend to imagine the most horrific outcome and yet, when we finally face them with truths, those fears aren't quite the giants we made them out to be. 

Go squish your "tiny giant".  I know you can do it!

The sun is always shining.

As I was driving this morning the sun was rising above the low clouds.  The day was brightening as the sun rose higher in the sky.  It struck me (not the first time), that the sun is always shining.  Even in the middle of the night the sun is shining, just not where I can see it.  

Even in our darkest hour the sun is shining and it's up to us to wait, fight and pray our way through the darkness.  It's trust and perseverance that keep us together as we wait for the sun to shine on us again.

With this metaphor it reminded me that sometimes we are the light in someone's darkness.  Even with the light from a simple birthday candle can illuminate an entire room.  

Be the light for someone today.

Kintsugi

There is a Japanese art form of fixing broken ceramics with a resin made to look like solid gold. A vessel fixed by kintsugi will look more gorgeous, and more precious, than before it was fractured. 

This reminds me of life.  We may have fractures in our spirit but it is the masters grace that will bind them with His love and mercy.



 

 

Unbroken - Motivational Video

The unmagical mirror

If you're like me, when you look in the mirror you see things about yourself that you don't like or would like to change.  

Also, if you're like me, when you look at your loved ones you don't see what they see in their own reflection.  We see their joyous hearts, their twinkling eyes when they smile, their raucous laughter, or that little grin that lets you know their up to something fun!

I wish I could create a mirror that would let you see you how others do.

You are magnificent just as you are!

Psalm 139:14; "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." NIV

Keep getting up!

What's wrong with you?

 Many of us have been in a heated discussion with another and they ask, in a demanding way, "What's wrong with you?".  Not only is it a hateful comment, but I think when someone asks that, it's more of an indictment on what they see in us that they don't like about themselves.

I think it safe to say that most of us are "broken" in some form or fashion.  Whether it's an emotional struggle, physical struggle, or not feeling like we fit in we feel "less" deserving, less worthy.  IT'S NOT TRUE!!!!!

We weren't created with fitting in to be the main reason for existence.  We are designed with specific purposes in mind.  Whatever we may struggle with has purpose as well.  Each ding and dent in our personality or emotions molds us to be that very person we are intended to be.

We all have a story to tell and I encourage everyone to tell their story.  Your story may very well be what someone needs to hear to let them know that they are not alone, or it may just save their life.

Personally, I'm not afraid to say that I am broken.  Yet, in my brokenness, the pieces have been picked up by my God and rearranged in something beautiful.  

 


 

Plans A - Z

It's been my experience that one's original Plan A for their vision of success is rarely fruitful.  Thousands of successful people have been through the "Plan Alphabet" at least once, sometimes more than that.  

The old adage of try, try again remains the simple truth.  If your Plan A doesn't work, go to B, then C, then...you get the picture?  

Failing to realize that the current Plan A isn't working is probably keeping you from the Plan (Insert Letter Here) that will get you to where your dream is.

From my point of view, everything you try to reach your dream is Plan A, because if you concentrate on one plan at a time and give it your full effort, you can't work or worry about other plans.  

Go jump start your plan today!

Take 5

Is it just me or does the world seem to be going at a break-neck speed and gaining momentum each day?  Maybe it's my advancing age as well.  I've spent way too many years chasing whatever it was that I thought that I needed.  We all need a breather from time to time and it doesn't matter if we need a break from work, school, or the hectic pace of life. 

Of late, I find myself wanting to slow down and enjoy a more peaceful life.  It's not trying to escape responsibilities, it's having less worry.  I'm not exactly sure what that will entail in the long run, but I do know that for now, that involves finding those moments (or minutes) in my day that I can just sit and enjoy some quiet time.  When I do that I find that I can refocus on the tasks that need to be done, allows me to feel less anxious, and let's me focus on the needs of those I love. 

Find some time for yourself today and just relax.  It's a great way to quiet your mind and soul.