Conflict

You know, when you get a message, an inspiration, or the answer to a burning question that seems perfect for the moment?  Well, it is.  The messages to me this past week are about having a peaceful heart, being focused on others and forcing me to look at myself first for answers to what I deem as problems in my daily life.

When you are faced with a conflict, instead of accusing, attacking, or blaming the other person, begin with humility. This is true even if the conflict is 90% their fault.

Everyone has blindspots. No one is perfect and there are things we do that contribute toward a conflict that we have difficulty seeing. 

So, before I start attacking and blaming, I need to do a frank evaluation and ask, "How much of this conflict is my fault?" I need to do an honest checkup and admit my part. When you're wrong, admit it.

And when you're right, shut up! 

Be honest with yourself. Jesus says to look at what is in your own eye first and that will help you see the conflict clearly.

Ask, "Am I being unrealistic? Am I being insensitive? Am I being over-sensitive? Am I being too demanding? Am I being ungrateful?"

My experience as a pastor: the number one excuse for divorce is: "We're incompatible!" The Bible teaches that any two people can learn to love each other if they will grow up!

But our nature is to be self-centered and stubborn, unwilling to change! More relationships die from inflexibility than anything else

The Bible teaches we must lead with humility. How do you break a logjam in a conflict? Say, "I'm sorry, I was only thinking of myself." ~ Rick Warren